NANCY [Nancy, upset with the way the federal agents were handling Ashiya's abduction, finally turned the alien's invisible probe over to them. Now, distraught and still injured, she has left Kim Brenner and Agent Mahon's team of government metahumans behind, returning to her husband at their Chicago motel room.] Nancy: When the patrol car drops her off back at the hotel, she hardly speaks a word to the driver. She trudges listlessly back into the room, hardly responding when Mike puts his arms around her. She's in about the worst shape emotionally that he's ever seen her. She pulls away from him and sits alone, in the corner, in one of the chairs. Tears trickle slowly from eyes glazed with fatigue. "How?", she whispers hoarsely. "How did things get so bad? What did I do offend God so much that he has to do things like this to me? Is there something about these Functions that drives people out of their minds?" She looks up at him. "I've been thinking," she continues in a soft but strained tone, "that I should go with the others to Virginia. I don't want to...God *knows* I don't want to...but I can't keep exposing you to this. I definitely don't want the kids to get caught up in this insanity." <><><><><> [GM] Mike grabs you by the shoulders and says "No!", fiercely. "Nancy....the HELL with your powers! You're more important to me and the kids than to any government agency, and I value YOU more than anything you can do with gravity! If you find a way to use your powers to help people, wonderful, but for God's sake, DON'T let them take over your life!" "Please...let's just go home now. You need to rest, and recover. You can't help anyone in this condition. We can decide what to do next once you're feeling better, but this is no time for you to be making life-altering decisions." <><><><><> Nancy: She looks up at Mike morosely. "It's bad enough that I wasn't not able to help with Ashiya...if I'd tried a little harder, maybe that poor young girl wouldn't have rushed off like she did. But now they're accusing me of running out on her, of not wanting to help. I wish that I could...but I just can't! I can't abandon our kids...especially since Euroninja probably knows by now that Bonnie and Jeremy have latent powers too. What if he decides to collect them too? I can't leave my babies...." She wipes her eyes. "Of course, they're pretending that they're concerned about her...when all they want is her advanced technology. Oh, Agent Mahon feels for her...but he's too wrapped up in his duty to realize the implications of what he's asking for. And Kim...." She chokes a moment. "Kim should know better. She should realize more than anyone how dangerous Ashiya's technology can be...but instead of thinking, she joins up with Mahon." She stiffles a sob. "Not only is Kim going with him, but when I told her I wouldn't let them have the probe...." She tries to compose herself. "I tried to take the probe with me...and my powers vanished. That Shindell fellow...the one who was so quiet?...I've got a feeling he was behind it. After I told Mahon about my powers fading, he had this LONG talk with him. The only thing I can think of is that Kim sold me out and asked him to turn my powers off. I suppose I should be thankful she didn't tell Mahon too...if he'd known what I tried, he've probably have arrested me for tampering with a crime scene...or whatever they call it." She grips the chair anxiously, her knuckles going white. "I...I couldn't let them do that...take my powers, I mean. What if it'd been permanent? How would I could I protect Stephanie and the others if I don't have them? Not only am I a thief, but I couldn't even follow through...." <><><><><> [GM] Mike sighs, and holds you close to him while he tries to think. "Nancy...if that man comes after us, I'm not sure we *can* do much about it. He can just mind-control you, can't he? But I don't think he will...why would he want to kidnap children who MIGHT have some latent powers, which probably won't manifest for years?" Nonetheless, you can tell the possibility worries him as much as it does you. "As for the probe....what would we have done with it? Maybe the government can do something. If anything might bring EuroNinja after you, it would be some of Ashiya's technology. Let the government deal with it...and with him. You can't take responsibility for everything that's happened; you're not Superwoman." "You don't have any control over Kim, either. Kim is probably more worried about Ashiya than about you, and I guess she did what she thought best for Ashiya." "Let's go home, and get you some rest. Then maybe we can decide what to do next. But running off with Agent Mahon and the rest of those guys now is NOT a good idea. I want you to come home, and be with me and the kids." <><><><><> Nancy: Nancy shakes her head. "I refuse to believe that any human being, no matter how powerful he is, is completely infallible. Yes...he was able to stand up in a fight against Kim AND Ashiya at the same time...but that doesn't necessarily mean he's smart. It is possible to outthink him. Kim's escape from him the first time proves that. Who knows...maybe he'll give me an ambiguous order, something I can capitalize on. I'm just want to be ready if it does happen." "Why? Who knows?" She shrugs helplessly. "Ashiya was very concerned that he was going to go after Chad...I'm just worried that he might try for more than just him. And as far as WHEN they develop powers...Ashiya told me that they might manifest sooner if they were exposed to other Functions in action...which is why I want to TRY and keep from using them around the house. He might try kidnapping them and forcing their powers to surface. I just don't know." "Keeping the probe would have at least kept it out of the government's hands. I'm sorry, Mike, I have to agree with Ashiya on this one...her technology is something that we're just not ready for. Besides, Kim could have worked with the probe just as well at Crystal Lake as she can at some secret laboratory." With a haunted look in her eyes, she answers, "Yes, I can take responsibility for all of this. If I hadn't let Kim run off with Ashiya in Cabrini Green, none of this would have happened. Yes, it was her bad judgement that got her captured, but *I* was the one who gave her the rope to hang herself. And the same with that girl who took my place. What am I doing letting children make those kinds of decisions?" "The problem with Kim," she fumes, "is that her parents probably let her get away with too much. I mean, jaunting off to Chicago with an adult they don't even know? It doesn't matter what SHE thinks...she's only a child. What kind of responsible parent lets a teenager dictate terms like that? I had trouble convincing my parents to let me go to football games! Of course, it doesn't matter to Mahon or the government...they're just more bodies for the big paranormal meatgrinder." She slumps as her eyes close. "I suppose...you're right. I need...to get some...sleep. Lemme...help...you pack...." Within a few moments, she's fast asleep. <><><><><> [GM] You don't wake up as Mike gently lays you on the bed, and if you woke up as he guided you into the car, you don't remember. Only once you're on the road, driving away from Chicago and back to Crystal Lake, do you stir, and realize you're heading home. <><><><><> Nancy: She murmurs softly as she stirs, cracking open an eye. "Morning," she mumbles. Eyes still glazed with sleep, she looks at the surroundings and tries to get an idea of how long till they get to Crystal Lake. <><><><><> [GM] It's about 5:30 am, and you're still about an hour from home. "Good morning," Mike says softly. "How are you feeling now?" <><><><><> Nancy: Her curiousity sated, she closes her eyes and sighs. "A little better," she answers. <><><><><> [GM] He squeezes your hand. "I love you." Then he exhales, slowly. "So what do we do now? Once we pick up the kids, I mean?" <><><><><> Nancy: "I love you too, Mikey-poo." Somehow, using her pet name for him makes her feel a little better, helping to ease the pain of the last few days. Eyes still closed, she shrugs. "I don't plan on doing anything. I want to put this insanity of the last week behind me and try to get on with my life. I'll probably rest for a day or two, like the doctor suggested, then go back to work. The less I have to think about aliens, Functions, and government agents; the better I'll like it." <><><><><> [GM] An hour later, you are pulling into Mike's parents' driveway. They're up already, and delighted to see you, but horrified at the sight of your bandaged head. "What in God's name happened?" asks your father-in- law. Meanwhile, your mother-in-law goes to rouse the kids. <><><><><> Nancy: "I was...mugged," Nancy responds uncomfortably. "I'd rather not talk about it." In her best 'we're changing the subject NOW' voice, she asks, "So, were the kids any trouble? Did Bonnie get to karate practice yesterday?" <><><><><> [GM] "Oh my God!" Mike's mother exclaims. You can deflect their inquires for now, but you know the subject won't be completely dropped. "Oh no, of the course the kids weren't any trouble," she beams. "Oh dear, I'm afraid we were so worried about you and all, we didn't get Bonnie to her martial arts class. Maybe it would have been good for her, to exercise some of that tension, but we were waiting for you to call." The children come running out- "Mommy! Daddy!" embracing you eagerly. And like your in-laws, they immediately notice the bandage and want to know what happened. <><><><><> Nancy: "I sorry that I put everyone through that," Nancy answers with a sigh. "Things...didn't go well there. I'm hoping that there won't be similar problems in the future." A great weight is lifted off Nancy when she finally sees the kids. A part of her had been worried sick about abandoning them to help Kim and Ashiya...and while she's still distraught about the alien (Kim can fend for herself as far Nancy is concerned), at least she's not being pulled in two directions any more. She hugs each of them fiercely, to the point of embarrassing Jeremy...but she doesn't care. She's home at long last.... "Dad...Mom," she finally says to her in-laws, "I should get these kids home so I can make them breakfast before school. Thanks for taking care of them. I'll call you later, all right? I don't feel like talking about...the last couple of days right now." <><><><><> [GM] Jeremey isn't really embarrassed by the hug....like his grandparents, he's more concerned about your injury. After verifying that you're all right, the first thing he wants to know is if you "threw him on the sidewalk and stomped on him?" "Jeremy!" Mike says a little sharply. "Let's not talk about it right now. And it's not something to glamorize...fighting is not cool. It's something you do only if you have no choice." Bonnie hugs you too, but your introspective daughter is less vocal in her concerns. You can see her watching you worriedly in the rear-view mirror as Mike drives you all home, though. You can tell she's wondering if Chad Reiter had anything to do with this. <><><><><> Nancy: "Your father's right," Nancy adds as Mike chides the boy. "We'll talk about it later." As they're getting out of the car, she takes her oldest daughter aside for a moment. "I'm okay honey, really," she tells the youngster. "All I need is to rest at home for a couple of days. And Chad didn't have anything to do with this. You don't need to be afraid of him, because he's gone." The Hartwicks quickly settle into their routine...and soon the family is eating breakfast together. During the meal, at a lull in the normal din, Nancy will announce, "There's something else I want you kids to know. You know that Kim and Ashiya were visiting us for a while and we didn't know quite how long they'd be staying. Well, it turns out they had to leave just after I got hurt. I'm sure they would have liked to say goodbye themselves, but they really didn't have a choice. I'm sure that they'll miss you all very much and come back to visit sometime if they can." <><><><><> [GM] Bonnie looks at you with a serious expression, and nods. You're not sure if you see all the doubt erased from her eyes, though. Jeremy is heartbroken that Ashiya won't be coming back. "Where did she go?" he asks. "When will she visit again?" Of course, that morning you also get greeted with the latest pleasant news story; the atomic blast in Germany. <><><><><> Nancy: "I don't know where she went, honey," Nancy replies sadly. "I'm sure she misses you too though, and she'll come back as soon as she can." <><><><><> [GM] You take the kids to school, and Mike then drives you to the doctor. He insists on coming, even though he's used up quite a bit of his vacation time already for the year. "We have to come up with something to tell the kids...and my parents, not to mention everyone else," he says. "The 'I don't want to talk about it' line will only go so far." Dr. Metaski is obviously shocked at your injury, especially when he inspects it and can immediately recognize it for a bullet wound. "What happened, Nancy?" he asks, while changing the dressing. <><><><><> Nancy: Nancy shrugs uncomfortably. "What's wrong with telling them I was mugged and that the rest of it just isn't their business?", she asks. "I don't see why I need to go into intimate details. If YOU feel like indulging their curiousity, that's your business. I'd rather not make up some wild fairy tale...I hate lying without a really good reason." "I went to Chicago on Monday with some friends. We...went into the wrong part of town and I got shot. The bullet only grazed me, but the doctor at the hospital there said I had a mild concussion and that I shouldn't work for a few days. I want to know when I *can* go back. I've taken off too much time already. I need to get on with my life." <><><><><> [GM] Your doctor "tsks" mournfully. "Terrible, the violence nowadays. I hope it doesn't ever get that way here in Crystal Lake." After examining you, he says "I think at least a couple more days off, just to be sure, would be safest. But everything looks all right. You were remarkably lucky. Call me immediately if you feel dizzy or lightheaded, or have trouble with your vision or other senses, and come back in two days. In the meantime, avoid any frantic activity, and get as much rest as possible...definitely don't go short on sleep." <><><><><> Nancy: Nancy nods at the doctor's dismay. "I hope so too," she answers softly. She has to chuckle a bit at his instructions. He might as well have said, 'Don't do everything that you've done for the last day or so.' "I'll try, doctor," she answers with a smile. "I'll see you in two days." After a little more small talk, she leaves, making sure to make the appointment to see him in the next few days. When she gets out to the waiting room, she gets Mike to take her home, telling him about the doctor's diagnosis on the way. Once they get home, she takes a shower (she never thought it would feel so good to wash in her own house!), then changes into her houserobe and fuzzy slippers. "I'm going to go to bed," she announces. "I don't think I need you to stay...." She yawns in exhaustion. "If you hurry, you could probably still get a half day in. No reason both of us should get fired." Whether or not he decides to stay, she then goes to bed. <><><><><> [GM] The first time in several days that you've gotten a decent amount of sleep. You don't wake up feeling refreshed, exactly, because the strain of the last few days still wears on you. You dreamt about poor Ashiya, and pray that somehow, you will see her safe again. You can hear the kids chattering in the living room, and realize it must be later than you thought. Clanging in the kitchen indicates that Mike is fixing dinner. You were really out for a long time! Yawning, you stretch and get ready to go out and join your family, but something nags at you. You grow more and more uneasy with the feeling of something being *wrong*. Finally it hits you- it's not what you feel, it's what you *don't*... You can't feel the gravity field around you any more! In the past week, it's gone from being a brand new, alien sensation to becoming a part of you, like all your other senses. And without it, you feel "blind". But sure enough....it's gone. <><><><><> Nancy: Still weary from her trials over the last few days, Nancy drags herself into the shower to try to make up for several missed baths. As she does, she ponders this new turn of events. *I still miss it,* she thinks to herself. *Even though they were nothing but a pain in the keister and brought me more trouble than I like to think about, I still miss those little extra sensations.* *But I'm not going to mope about it though,* she decides as she steps out to dry herself off. *Nice as those feelings were, it just wasn't something I need in my 'real' life. And you just put those 'blind' thoughts right out of your head, Nancy Marie. You're not any more handicapped than Mike is. You are NOT feel this way about something that you've had for less than a week.* Putting that behind her, she gets dressed and heads out to the living room to see the kids. <><><><><> [GM] Your children all rush to embrace you, and look at your bandaged head worriedly. "What did the doctor say, Mommy?" Bonnie asks, with motherly concern that makes her look and sound like a fourth-grade version of yourself. Mike comes and gives you a quick kiss, while holding a frying pan full of Hamburger Helper. "How are you feeling, honey?" <><><><><> Nancy: The blonde returns the hugs eagerly, smiling for what seems like the first time in ages. It's so good to be home.... Bonnie's concern reinforces that thought. *This is what I was fighting for...what I was trying to protect,* she thinks proudly. *I have to do what I can for the kid's sake.* "I'll be all right," Nancy answers, trying to sound confident to reassure the children. "He said I needed to rest for a few days and I should be fine." She scowls a bit as her husband brings the hot pan into the living room...it's a bad habit he's had since college days that she still hasn't managed to break him of. "Better," she replies in a teasing voice, "though I'd probably have a relapse if you dropped that skillet." <><><><><> [GM] "Oh, sorry," he says, abashed, and returns to the kitchen. Everything seems back to normal, and a perfectly ordinary dinner with your family seems like the best thing you could have hoped for after your dreadful time in Chicago. But the disconcerting absence of your powers, new and bizarre as they were, is now an ever-present void. You'd never have imagined you could miss something that you only had for a week, but it DOES suddenly feel like being blinded or deafened. <><><><><> Nancy: It seems like that Hamburger Helper is about the finest meal she's ever eaten, the way she feels after being separated from her children for so long. She listens carefully to each of them as they bring her up to date on the highs and lows of the last few days. Even Jeremy and Bonnie's bickering doesn't bother her...at least not as much as it used to. When the meal is over, she automatically takes her plate to the sink and starts rinsing the dishes before putting them in the washer. When Mike hurries in to assure her that she doesn't need to do the dishes, she doesn't argue. "All right," she says with a sigh, contrasting with her earlier exuberant mood. "I think I'll go and lie down for a while...I'm still a little tired." Something about her tone sets off his special "husband" sense...something's obviously wrong that she doesn't want to discuss in front of the kids. She makes a quick stop to see that the two older kids are working on their homework and then heads to the bedroom to lie down. Closing her eyes, she tries to remove the distraction of her other senses, tries to see if the sensations are just incredibly muted (along the lines of what happened with the probe earlier) or if it really seems to be gone. <><><><><> [GM] The senses are more than muted; you don't feel even a flicker of gravitic activity around you. Yet it isn't quite as if the senses were never there; the void in your awareness is definitely a LACK of something that should BE there. As if the neural pathways in your brain are still laid in to activate your gravitic power...yet no signal can travel along them. Mike comes in, looking concerned. "Are you sure you're all right, honey?" he asks. "You look...disturbed." <><><><><> Nancy: "Close the door," she says softly. She waits for him to sit beside her, reaching out to take his hand. "It's gone," she murmurs. "I can't feel the gravity any more. It feels like somebody cut off my arm or something...I don't feel whole any more." As she moves closer to him, he can see tears in her eyes. "How can I feel like this?", she asks. "I didn't even LIKE controlling gravity that much, after the novelty wore off. It didn't bring us anything except trouble. But now...." She pauses to gather her thoughts. "But the worst of it is that I've found out I'm a hypocrite. When I've worked with blind or deaf kids, I've always told them you shouldn't spend your time pining after a part of your life you can't have. If you can't see, you should try to work around it and get on with your life. But now that it's happened to me...I can't get it out of my mind. Intellectually, I keep telling myself I'd only had them a week...that I don't NEED them to do the things I want to do in life. But it all just sounds hollow...like empty platitudes." <><><><><> [GM] "Gone?" he repeats, looking confused. He places his hands on your shoulders. "You're not a hypocrite, Nancy. You never told those kids it would be *easy* to adjust, did you? Or that it was wrong for them to regret losing their senses? How many of them are able to 'get on with their life' after just one day?" "But look, I think you're jumping to conclusions. There has to be some reason why you've suddenly lost your powers, don't you think? I mean, it doesn't seem like any other metahumans have their powers suddenly disappearing on them. Do you think it could be one of Ashiya's probes again? Or...or..." His expression becomes tense and fearful, as you both think about the possibility neither of you wants to... <><><><><> Nancy: "Well, no...", she grudgingly admits. "But how can I miss something so badly that I've had for a week? I mean, this is ridiculous! Right now, all I want to do is sit here in the dark and and cry...and that's just not me! I didn't want those powers to take over my life...but now that they're gone, I can't think of anything else!" She forces herself to be calm and listen to Mike's words. "I don't think it's the probe," she answers. "The time it did it before, it wasn't this strong...I could still feel SOMEthing." She takes a deep breath. "I can only think of TWO possibilities...." "One, it might be some kind of brain damage. If that's the case, then I'm lucky...I could just as well still be lying in bed in a coma. Since I could still use my powers after I got hurt, my guess would be, from what little I remember of that seminar I had on organic brain dysfunctions and learning disabilities in college [yes, that class is available to special ed teachers...I checked ], is that there's some swelling from the bullet I took to the head, which is pressing against the nerves that give me my powers. If I'm lucky, the swelling will eventually go away and they should come back. On the other hand, that's not to say that it might not be more serious than that." She sighs. "The other possibility, and maybe I'm just being paranoid here, is that one of Mahon's people is responsible for it. You remember that I told you about how, at that house the probe was at, my powers suddenly stopped working...and didn't come back until I decided to do what Mahon wanted? Well, maybe once I did what he needed me to do, he had that one fellow just turn my powers off permanently. After all, if I'm not going to play his game, why should he let me run around loose? Then, if I come crawling back to him to see if his scientists can help me, he arranges a 'miracle cure', and I'm eternally grateful." Nancy looks at her husband. "What do YOU think?" <><><><><> [GM] "I certainly HOPE it's not brain damage, because that could threaten a lot more than your powers," Mike says. "As for the other possibility...I think it's unlikely. I mean, for one thing, you still had your gravity senses when you went to sleep, didn't you? You certainly didn't mention feeling this way before then. And....frankly, I think you're attributing too much deviousness to Agent Mahon. I'm not saying his agency might not stoop to something like that...but it just seems too manipulative, and not the way to recruit a superhuman whose loyalty they really want to keep. And even if they do have someone who can tamper with another superhuman's power like that, to be able to do it with this much precision, and with a delayed effect...unless of course he's lurking outside our house." He shakes his head. "It just doesn't add up, to me." "Maybe you should call Kim...we do still have her parents' number, don't we? Find out if something like this has happened to her?" <><><><><> Nancy: "I realize that it could be more serious," she replies worriedly. "The problem with THAT is that we just don't have the money for more tests...or any surgery." She shrugs. "I was so tired last night that I might not have noticed. And as far as Agent Mahon goes, they might have assumed that I'm not bright enough to figure out what's going on. If the plan worked, I'd be with them...and if not, well...that's one less loose cannon they have to worry about." "It doesn't make much sense to me either, honey. But there's been precious little rhyme or reason over the last few days. I'm just trying to think of some kind of an answer." When he mentions Kim, her face screws up in intense distaste. "And maybe I should beat myself over the head with a brick to see if that'll bring my powers back. I want nothing to do with that...that...!" She stops, forcing herself to keep from yelling in her anger. "I don't think she's home...she's probably off galavanting with Agent Mahon and his cronies, having the time of her life, leaving her poor parents to wonder if she's safe. She KNEW how important that probe was, Michael...that Ashiya would have done anything to keep it from falling into the wrong hands...and she told Mahon about it anyway. And I find it very coincidental that my powers stopped working AFTER I told her I wasn't going to let them have it. I think she made a deal with Mahon and left me hanging out to dry." She turns away from Mike and continues to fume. <><><><><> [GM] As you say it, you realize it's unlikely you would have failed to notice your senses disappearing before you went to sleep. Tired as you were, it's still something that would have been painfully obvious by its absence. As it is now. Mike just murmurs, "Well....I suppose," in that way he does when he doesn't agree with you but has recognized that it wouldn't be a good time to argue. "Is *anything* else wrong, or feel different, besides your powers being gone? Maybe we should take you back to the doctor?" he suggests worriedly. <><><><><> Nancy: "It doesn't feel the same as when the probe did it." As he brushes her point off, she glares at him for a moment...then turns her back to him. And when he asks if there's anything else wrong, there's a pause.... And then she laughs. Not a cheery and happy laugh, but a hollow and mocking laugh, desperate and filled with pain. He's never heard anything like it from her...and it scares the living bejeezus from him. "Wrong?", she asks in a hysterical voice. "Why, whatever makes you think something's wrong, Michael? I'm sitting here in bed with a bullet wound to the head, feeling like a part of my soul's been torn out from the roots...one of the nicest people I've ever known has been kidnapped by a madman who makes the Marquis de Sade look like Mary Poppins...and the world has gone to h*** in a handbasket. No, *I* wouldn't say that anything's wrong!" She whirls to face him, trembling in rage, tears streaming down her face. "EVERYTHING is different...haven't you caught on by now? The world's not fit for decent people like us...you any more. It's all about power and madness and who can make whom dance the way they want. Love and decency mean nothing anymore...NOTHING! And I don't think...it's a world...I...can...live in." She begins to sob softly...though her lack of volume is more from the overwhelming rush of emotion than any desire to keep quiet. <><><><><> [GM] Once there was a time when I believed, without hesitation That the power of love and truth could conquer all, in the name of salvation Tell me what kind of weapon is love, when it comes to the fight? And just how much protection is truth, against all Satan's might? There must be something worth living for There must be something worth trying for Even some things worth dying for And if one man can stand tall There must be some hope for us all Somewhere, somewhere in the spirit of man -from "The Spirit of Man" in Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds, (c) 1978, CBS Inc. "Nancy...." Mike says, stricken as never before. He approaches, reaches out to you, then hesitates, as if afraid you'll shrug him off, or merely stand as unresponsive as a statue. Never before have you seemed so distant and unreachable. "Nancy," he whispers hoarsely. "There's always been evil in the world. We've endured men like 'EuroNinja' before. Manson, Hitler, Pol Pot, Napoleon...You can return to the same question that's agonized people forever, how can a benevolent God allow things like this? But the world is no different than it was a week ago. Superhumans are a shock to the system, but the world will adjust, like it always has. We have to do what people have always done in bad times, and that's hold on to what we have, and try to make tomorrow better! Please Nancy, for our sake, for our children's sake, don't give up hope!" <><><><><> Nancy: I must've dreamed a thousand dreams, Been haunted by a million screams. I can hear the marching feet, They're moving into the street. She sits stone still, and for a moment Mike doesn't know whether his words were able to cut through the shroud of despression that's draped over her. Her eyes are dull and glassy, as if she's staring into an endless void.... "I...", she finally murmurs, her voice failing her the first time. She pauses and starts again, this time a little stronger. "I remember when Sister Katherine taught us about Job, and the torments God made him suffer through. I asked her why God needed to prove anything to Satan...I mean, if he already knew the answer, why go through the motions for someone who only wanted him to fail?" She stiffles a sob. "She never could give me a good answer." "There was evil in the world before, yes," she admits, "but this...this is on a scale that beggars the imagination. The suffering that people like us...like *me* are causing...it is almost biblical in scope...." Now did you read the news today? They say the danger's gone away, But I can see the fire's still alight, Burning, into the night. There's too many men, too many people, Making too many problems And not much love to go around.... Can't you see this is a Land of Confusion? "I could always hope that better things would come," the blonde continues in a soft murmur. "I'd be able to look and think 'Well, things might be bad for the world now, but at least our kids will grow up and have their own chance.' But now I look out and I see ash...broken promises...shattered dreams. Just because I've retreated here to Crystal Lake doesn't mean we're not threatened. I was deluding myself to think that." "Now, there's nowhere to hide." Superman, where are you now? Everything's gone wrong somehow, The men of steel, the men of power, Are losing control by the hour.... This is the time. This is the place. So we look to the future But there's not much love to go around.... Tell me why this is the Land of Confusion? "A shock?" The empty laugh returns for a moment. "Michael, I'll let you in on a secret...all of the metahumans are mad as hatters. ALL of them...and that includes me. I'm not blind...I know I've been behaving differently than I did before. That's because I *am* different. And to be honest, I don't deserve having someone like you to stand by me while this is going on. It may be a cliche, but you're far too good to me." "Anyway...I'd like to think you're right, that we'll eventually find level ground again, but I can't help but think this might be the straw that broke the camel's back. And even if we do manage to put the world back into some kind of order...who knows what Ashiya's people and the other Galactics will do to us?" I remember long ago When the sun was shining. The stars were bright All through the night And the sound of your laughter As I held you tight.... ...So long ago... Suddenly, Mike notices a change as she pauses again, considering his words. Somehow, he knew that Nancy had strength left...he just had to help her find it. A light begins to glimmer in her eyes, glittering blue in the moonlit room. "Hope?" The word hangs desperately for a moment in that same tone one hears in those films where the hero cries for water in the middle of a arid desert. "No...I'm afraid I don't have any hope left. Not any more. I'm almost more afraid of living than I am of dying." "But one thing I do have...is love." She stands, fists clenched and knuckles white. "For you...for the children...for my fellow man and a God who seems determined to test me." I won't be coming home tonight My generation will put it right We're not just making promises That we know we'll never keep Too many men, there's too many people Making too many problems And not much love to go around.... Can't you see this is a Land of Confusion? "For your sake and everyone else's, I'll try my very best until I don't have any more to give. Because if I don't try...I can't expect someone else to do it for me." This is the world we live in These are the hands we're given Use them and let's start trying To make this a place worth fighting for.... This is the world we live in And these are the names we're given Stand up and let's start showing Just where our lives are going to.... - from Genesis: Invisible Touch "Land of Confusion", (c) 1986 by Gelring LTD <><><><><> [GM] "It's not so bad, Nancy," Mike murmurs, putting his arms around you. "Please don't let it be so bad." His voice is near to breaking. <><><><><> Nancy: This whole life seemed much too long Little point in going on I couldn't think of what to say Words just vanished in a haze I was feeling cold and tired Yeah, kinda sad and uninspired When it almost seemed too much I see your face and sense the grace and feel the magic in your touch Chorus: Oh lay your hands, lay your hands on me Oh lay your hands, Oooooo oooooo Oh lay your hands, oh lay your hands on me Oh lay your hands.... Mike's distress seems to melt even more of the shell of numb depression that she'd built around herself. "Oh Mike," she moans back softly. "I...I never meant for you to feel this way too! Don't you see...I don't want you and the kids get caught in all of this! Whatever happens to me DOESN'T have to happen to you. Believe me...I want you with me...I want you so badly I can taste it...but I'm not selfish enough to insist that all of you go down with me if...when something bad happens." She turns in his embrace and he can see how torn she is. Back and forth across the sea I have chased so many dreams But I have never felt the grace That I had felt in your embrace Well, I was tired and I was cold Yeah, with a hunger in my soul When it almost seemed too much I see your face and sense the grace and feel the magic of your touch Chorus Her body falls naturally into his arms; he can feel her longing. "When I'm with you," she continues in a whisper, "it all fades away...the hurt and heartache of the last couple of days seems like a dream. I can almost believe that this craziness will somehow all turn out for the best. But that doesn't make it any less real...or less dangerous. And I can't ask you to face that with me, I just can't! I can do it FOR you, but I can't do it WITH you. Does that make any sense?" And now you made me feel so good Yeah, like I never ever thought I would You know, you make me feel so strong And now our laughter just goes on and on and on.... So c'mon lay your hands on me! Cause close to you is where I really wanna be And if ever gets too much I see your face and sense the grace and feel the magic in our touch Chorus - "Lay Your Hands on Me" on The Thompson Twins _Here's To Future Days_, (c) 1985, Arista Records Inc. Nancy pulls her husband closer still, resting her head on his shoulder and weeping. "I...I'm sorry about all of this, Mike," she whimpers. "I love you...you're my heart and soul. Just...just hold me...." <><><><><> [GM] "I seem to recall a few lines that went 'For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer...'" Mike says, taking you in his arms. "I'm NOT leaving you Nancy, and I don't think you COULD leave the children even if you came to the- totally wrong- conclusion that that's what would be best. So let's stop talking about it." He smooths your hair and kisses you. "I just can't think of any more 'darkest before the dawn' metaphors that wouldn't sound totally hokey, darling, but I still refuse to let you succumb to despair like this. So let's do something productive, instead of crying, like maybe finding out what happened to your powers." Even while he still holds you lovingly, you sense his relentlessly pragmatic side asserting itself. "Nothing spontaneously disappears without a cause. First of all, if we need to have you examined again, that's what we're going to do. I don't care how much it costs, brain damage isn't something to ignore and hope it goes away. Secondly, let's suppose maybe Agent Mahon DID have someone tamper with your powers. How would we go about determining that, and maybe doing something about it?" <><><><><> Nancy: "I knew I forgot something when we exchanged us say the marriage vows," she observes wryly. "'Offer is null and void when the world turns upside down.' You're right though...I probably couldn't stand being without the kids. It'd be far too quiet." She manages a wan smile which Mike probably finds quite heartening, considering how depressed she was just a few moments ago. She lays her head against his shoulder, letting him bolster her spirits. A part of her insists that she's only fooling herself, that there's no way to avoid the doom that now hangs over them all; but while he's holding her, she can see some hope that things might just work out after all. "You're right," she responds quietly. "Even if it is hopeless, there's no reason why I should just wait for it to happen. I should at least give myself the satisfaction of going down swinging, so to speak." She cracks a small grin when he speaks about 'cause'. "Is that your considered opinion as my husband or a physics teacher?", she asks. "The problem is, we really can't tell WHY my powers have gone on the fritz. It might have been that person with Mahon, it might be brain damage...it might have even have been something Euroninja did to me...though I doubt that. It might be related to my emotional state, though that seems unlikely too, since I was pretty depressed and TOed at Agent Mahon when I was at that house." She shakes her head. "Heck, it might even be one of the kids manifesting some kind of power." [Do any of those answers FEEL intuitively righter than any of the others?] She thinks for a moment, then takes a deep breath and steels herself. "I can only think of one solution, one way we have any kind of a way of finding out WHY this is happening. I'm going to have to go to that government facility that he works for and let them examine me." She holds up her hand to ward off any arguements, at least for the moment. "I know, I know...the last thing I want to do is go crawling back to that man. But if they were responsible, they might do something to give me some kind of clue about why or how they did it. And if it is brain damage, that could give their scientists valuable information about how metahuman powers work...not to mention that THEY would probably pay for the tests and they might have someone whose powers could heal the damage." <><><><><> [GM] The more you think about it, the more unlikely it seems that Mahon would have or could have had Walt nullify your powers in such a way that they wouldn't fade out until this morning. Even if he was willing and capable of doing such a thing, it's a stretch to assume you'd come to him as a result. And if EuroNinja was going to mess with your powers, he'd probably just take over your mind. "I don't know," Mike muses. "The government might be the best help available...but they want you to go to Virginia!" He looks very unhappy. "If you go see them, it has to be ONLY to be tested, and maybe give them some data about metahumans in return...NOT to join them on their superhero crusade." <><><><><> Nancy: *That doesn't necessarily preclude him negating my powers AT the house though,* she thinks to herself. She decides that she's going to ask Mr. Shindell some very pointed questions if she goes...and when she gets him alone. *Or kill me outright,* she thinks morosely. She still wonders why he didn't finish the job he started. *I can only hope THAT mistake will come back to haunt him.* "I know...I don't want to leave either," she sighs. "But I can't think of anyone that would be more motivated to help find out what's wrong with me, if only to try and reproduce it on the people they've been capturing." She strokes his back, trying to comfort him. "If I go, I definitely won't become one of their agents. On the other hand, if they have some operation that might bring back my powers, I'd have to consider it...though I'd ask you before I do anything, of course. Also, I can't help but think there MUST be something else I could do as a metahuman besides be some sort of supercop. For now, though, that's all they seem to be thinking of." <><><><><> [GM] "All right," Mike sighs reluctantly. "But let's wait until tomorrow. We may need to ask my parents to watch the kids again while we go to Virginia." He doesn't seem inclined to debate the "we" part. <><><><><> Nancy: Unfortunately, Mike's distaff partner DOES want to debate the matter. "Honey, I know you only want to be supportive," she says softly, "but I think it would be a bad idea for you to go with me to Virginia. First, I don't like the idea of leaving the kids without at least one parent somewhere in the neighborhood. They're frightened enough by all of this...I'm concerned that your mom and dad won't be able to give them the answers they need. It was bad enough that I had to drag you out to Chicago for so long." "Also, I don't know what I'll find once I get there. It might very well be kind of an armed camp sort of thing, with an 'us versus them' mentality. Some of the other metahumans might be offended by you being there...not to mention that it might just plain be dangerous." "And," she says with a grim smile, "it might be nice if ONE of us had a job next week. I feel bad enough that I won't be able to go to work tomorrow...but there's no reason on God's green earth why you have to miss more days too. I was thinking that it might be a good idea to wait another day and go there on Saturday, stay till Sunday night at the latest, then try to be back so I can go to school Monday morning." <><><><><> [GM] Mike looks distraught. "I almost lost you last time! I am NOT going to let you fly off to some secret government facility by yourself, and just wonder what's happening with you!" "Look, why don't we both get some sleep, then talk about it in the morning, OK?" Mike has momentarily forgotten that you just awoke from sleeping an entire day a few hours ago. <><><><><> Nancy: The blonde rolls her eyes. "It's not like I'm going to some secret Nazi death camp, Michael. This is the United States government. They have our best interests at heart. [Poor, poor deluded woman....] I'll be fine...all they'll be doing is running a few tests. If it's anything more serious than that, I'll be sure and ask you first." She also looks frustrated and drained by the argument. "Fine...that's a good idea. We'll just mull it over and talk some more in the morning." She sighs inwardly about "sleeping" on it...but since she still feels a little tired even after her long nap, she'll probably be able to get some rest, though probably not till late. Fine...that'll give her the chance to catch up on a little of the housework while everyone else is asleep. If it's still relatively early in the evening, she'll clean up a bit and then go out to help the kids with their homework and generally spend some quality time with them. If they've already gone to bed, she'll perform her own nightly ritual, follow Mike's lead to the bed (and his desire for intimacy once the lights are out...if he wants it, Nancy will gladly perform her spousal duties), and then wait till he goes to sleep. <><><><><> [GM] Mike isn't up to much more than cuddling- the stress must be getting to him. You do fall asleep in his arms, but as predicted, you wake up only a few hours later. It's about 2 am, and Mike is sound asleep. <><><><><> Nancy: Nancy gently disentangles herself from her husband, puts on a houserobe, and pads out of the bedroom. She'll do a little light housework first, just to tidy the place up, then sit in front of the TV and finish the costume. The irony of the situation doesn't escape her...but she hates leaving things unfinished. And this is one thing she CAN complete on her own. When it gets to be about 6 am or so, she'll go back to bed so she can at least make the appearance of getting up with Mike. <><><><><> [GM] You actually finish the costume before you go back to bed, then you're surprised at how tired you are again. When Mike stirs, he kisses you good morning and says "I'll take the kids to school, then come back and check on you, OK? Then we can talk about whether or not we're going to go to Virginia." There's that word "we" again.... <><><><><> Nancy: Nancy consoles herself by thinking that she'll catch a quick nap while Mike is away. Though the continual "drained" feeling worries her, she realizes that worrying about it now isn't going to help matters. *Maybe I'm pregnant again,* she jokes to herself. *That'd explain all of this.* As he's getting dressed, she lays back down. "Are you sure that's a good idea, dear? I still think you should go to work today." It's obvious from her listless manner that she won't mount much of an argument if he disagrees, but at least she's trying. [] "If you want, maybe you can come back over lunch and we'll discuss it." Again, it's pretty evident that she still feels the same as before, but she's finding it hard to muster the energy to badger him as she usually does. <><><><><> [GM] Breakfast, alone, is uninspired and barely filling. You really don't feel very hungry, which kind of blows the pregnancy theory, because the last three times, you ate like a horse in the early stages. The costume is hanging on the back of an easy chair, so you figure you might as well try it on. Not bad; for a mother of three in her thirties, you pull off the body-hugging look pretty well. The cut may be a wee bit low, it occurs to you. You were using Jeremy's comic books as a guideline, making alterations for the sake of practicality, but you've still wound up showing a bit more cleavage than you intended. A cloak may be prudent to complete the "look" (and provide you with a little more modesty) if you ever actually wear this thing in public. Which will never happen, because your powers are gone. That thought banishes what little cheer you were starting to regain. With nothing else to do, except wait and worry until Mike comes home, you turn on the TV. Game shows, soap operas....and a news broadcast about metahumans. The entire press conference isn't rebroadcast, but you see the choice bits; that Crystal woman, from the battle in New York (the gory one that made you sick to your stomach and traumatized poor Ashiya even more) is railing at the press. The newscaster comments that neither she nor her agent has been available for comment since. And that just about completes your morning. You sit in your chair, wearing this silly costume, and nagged by the feeling that something just isn't quite right. Or maybe it is. Just as it was conspicuous by its absence, you didn't even notice its return. It insinuated itself back into your perceptions as if it was never gone. The realization that you can FEEL again, feel GRAVITY, hits you so suddenly that you jump out of your chair in amazement....then have to put your arms in front of your face to keep from flattening your nose against the ceiling! You're floating in mid-air in your living room, and it feels GREAT! <><><><><> Nancy: The morning drags on. Nancy finds herself wishing she'd gone to work today, even though she knows in her heart it would have been a bad idea. She does a few chores around the house, but she keeps things so neat as a general rule that the only thing to occupy any real time would be cleaning Jeremy's room...which is far too daunting in her fatigued state, not to mention his complaints when he got home. When the power comes back, a wave of elation washes over her...which she PROMPTLY squashes. It's wonderful that the power has returned and that she's feeling better...but she doesn't like the way that her being has, in a few short days, started to revolve around her Function. It's not the events so far that have disturbed her so much, though they have been pretty harrowing...but the fact that she doesn't feel whole without it. She CAN'T let feelings like that go unopposed. To paraphrase the old saying, she is more than the sum of her Functions. She lowers herself to the ground and sits back down, letting herself enjoy the sensations...but not too much. <><><><><> [GM] The mass of the easy chair, the mass of the television set, the mass of the magazines sitting on the coffee table....all wonderful sensations. And the thrill of power, just knowing you COULD amplify or nullify or divert the gravity waves around them, sends a delicious shiver up your spine. You try hard to suppress your joy at the return of your powers, but there's no denying now that you missed them, you're glad to have them back.... and you DON'T want to lose them again. Mike comes home at lunch, looking concerned. His face brightens a little when he sees you. "Well, you're looking better! How do you feel?" <><><><><> Nancy: The implications of how she's feeling now start to sink in...anything that she needs this badly after so short a time can't be good for her. Perhaps the power is addictive...that would explain why she craved it so. Despite her ambivalence (at least intellectually) about the return of her Function, it does give her sagging spirits a much needed lift. When Mike arrives home at noon, he finds she's made him a nice hot lunch and is wearing jeans and a pullover sweater, a vast improvement over her housecoat (it always confused her when he called her "Mrs. Lumpkin" while wearing it...). She gives him a nod for the stove as he enters. "Well," she says hesitantly, "my powers came back a little while ago. Inside, I'm elated...I want to go flying...move things...close my eyes and just SENSE everything. And that concerns me. I've never felt anything so intense in my life as the relief I'm feeling...and the conviction that I never want this to happen again." "And that scares the heck out of me." <><><><><> [GM] "Nancy, there's nothing wrong with enjoying your powers. I can't believe that you're going to turn into some power-mad crazy woman. We just need to help you adjust to them. And we should find out what made them disappear. When did you feel the power return?" <><><><><> Nancy: The blonde shakes her head vehemently. "No...I 'enjoy' strawberry ice cream. I *crave* this power. There's a difference. I only hope we're able to work this out somehow. I don't want to think of the consequences if we can't...." Bringing the plates with her, she sits at the table to eat with Mike. She bows her head to say a quick grace over the food, then looks back up at him. "Well, as I said, they returned just a little while ago. I was sitting in the living room and *bang*, they were back. As far as I can tell, I wasn't doing anything special except for wearing the costume I'd finished a bit before that. And I kind of doubt that wearing skin-tight clothes has anything to do with it...otherwise I would have been doing flying aerobics." She grins slightly to show she's only half serious. <><><><><> [GM] "All right," Mike sighs. "But it's back, regardless of how you feel about it. Maybe since according to Ashiya, these powers are all mental in nature, they affect your psychology somehow." A good question to ask Ashiya, which gives you another pang in your conscience. "Anyways, if nothing in particular happened to bring them back...maybe whatever neutralized them in the first place was just a temporary effect? If it WAS that man with the government, his power could have worn off. Or...EuroNinja's." "So, umm, I assume you no longer want to go to Virginia?" he asks hopefully. <><><><><> Nancy: "That's certainly possible. But unfortunately, since Ashiya isn't here, I guess I'll never know, will I?", the housewife snaps. She takes a moment, forces herself to be calm with a deep breath, and looks back at Mike. "Sorry...I shouldn't have said that. I'm a little...sensitve about that subject." She averts her eyes, searching her bowl of soup for some clue to the mystery. "I think you're right...that whatever did this to me was only temporary. However, I'm thinking now that it wasn't the man from the government...he only did it to me when I was going to try and prevent them from taking the probe. It also probably wasn't Euroninja." "Which leaves only one logical possibility. Since the only people who were around when it seemed to have happened was this family, it must have been you or one of the kids who did this to me. Oh, most definitely unconsciously, and not out of any sense of malice...but it does seem the most likely way it happened." "And the reason I include you," she continues before Mike can interrupt, looking up to meet his gaze, "is that your having 'anti'- Functional powers might explain a couple of things. If Ashiya's device only detected 'real' powers, then it might NOT pick up on an ability that negates metahuman abilities. And even if such a Function were still dormant, it would influence your personality AND affect the impressions you give out...which might explain why you and she kept going at it hammer and tongs like you did." "Finally," she says tenderly, "what better way would you have to protect me than to make sure I could never use my powers again...that I'd never have a reason to go out and get hurt again...that I wouldn't have to leave the family again?" There is no malice in her eyes...just love and a desire to know whether he might have known the answer all along. <><><><><> [GM] Mike is silent for a long time, obviously giving what you say serious consideration. At last, he says, "If I DO have this power, you're right, it's completely unconscious, since I have no knowledge of having done anything, and haven't felt anything...different, at all. But you know I'm not convinced that superpowers really affect personality, or vice versa. I can elucidate a lot of the reasons why I had a problem getting along with Ashiya, and I can't believe it was just because....conflicting 'Functions' were making us naturally at odds." "But...she DID say that the kids showed potential for being Functional. If any of us are responsible for your powers blanking out, I think it's more likely one of them than me." He looks thoughtful. "Your powers DID shut off about the time I brought them home yesterday, didn't they? And now they're gone, and your powers have returned." He's obviously as concerned as you, at the prospect that one of your children could have indeed manifested this early. "I'm going to stay home with you for the rest of the afternoon," he says. "If my presence doesn't do anything to your powers, then the next step is to see what happens when I bring the kids home from school..." <><><><><> Nancy: The blonde shrugs. "All I know is that you and Ashiya have been going at each other like cats and dogs ever since the first time you met...and that's just not like you, Michael. I've seen you with people who you disagree with before and you haven't treated them nearly as badly as you did that poor woman." "Also, I didn't come into direct contact with any of the kids before I went to bed that morning. I suppose it's possible that one of the kids might be 'radiating' some kind of anti-power, though. To answer your question, my powers were gone when I woke up yesterday, so it could have happened anytime. Do you know if any of the kids went into the bedroom to see me while I was sleeping?" She sips thoughtfully at her coffee. "A lot of the powers that appear these days seem to appear in times of crisis...and as far as I know, the kids haven't be subjected to anything like that. Ashiya said they could manifest if they were exposed to powers being used around them...but I was very careful not to do anything with them around...or have the others do things in their area either. That's one reason why I also suspected it was you...because you WERE around during the fight with Euroninja, Kim, and Ashiya...and there was probably a lot of psychic energy flying around there." [Actually, the kids probably would take the bus home (to stay at a neighbor's) since teachers generally have to stay for at least an hour after the kids leave. Also, Mike is a high school teacher, and since in small towns like Crystal Lake (and Paw Paw, where I live ), the middle and high school kids get an hour after the elementary students do (so they can use the same fleet of buses to ferry both sets of students), that means he'd be even later than that. Of course, we'll do what you think is appropriate, but I thought I'd tell you how it works around here.] She doesn't seem enthralled about Mike staying home and missing more work, but she doesn't feel like arguing about it. "Propably the best way to do it would be for me to see each of them separately, one at a time, after they get home...and hope that we can isolate which one of them might be doing this to me." <><><><><> [GM] Mike looks guilty when you remind him how poorly he got along with Ashiya. "I don't know if any of the kids checked on you while you were asleep, but any one of them very well might have stuck their head in the door to peek...they were quite worried about you." He agrees with your plan. "But I can't exactly bring them all home at different times...so if any of them are radiating this...power, at a distance, we may need to try some experimentation that will be awkward to explain to them." Later that afternoon, he collects the kids from school/bus stop, and as they file through the front door, and you wait in the family room...sure enough, your gravity awareness grows dim, fades...and once again you're faced with that numbing, oppressive void! <><><><><> Nancy: She nods. "Not only that...but it's not as if this is going to be easy to do. It was hours after all of you left before my powers came back. And if it's broadcast around her, like Ashiya's probe did...then staying out of sight aound here won't be any help. I'd have to leave the house." She sighs and ponders the problem for a few moments. "Hmmmm...when the kids get home and if we find out that it is one of them, I could go to the school for a while...say that there are some things I need to take care of there. When I feel them come back, I call you at home...and have you bring the kids, one at a time, over to see me. That should tell us pretty quickly which one of them is probably responsible, if it is one of them." She frowns as she examines the depths of her empty soup bowl. "What almost concerns me more than the problem I've having is how this might have happened. My powers manifested because of a dangerous situation where I was put under stress. Could that have happened to one of the kids while we were gone? If not, then why DID they appear now? And will being in a 'negative' field like that promote the other kids developing Functions too?" She grits her teeth in frustration. "I *hate* not having any of the answers. I'm beginning to think I should just stop delaying the inevitable and work with Mahon and his organization...at least until we can find Ashiya and rescue her." [Nancy would have wanted to be in a part of the house where she heard the kids coming in...but didn't see them, just in case line of sight was responsible for the negating effect.] It takes her a few moments to compose herself when they all arrive. The despair of losing the gravity sense again, anger at how much it means to her, the realization that she might have to choose between her own child and her Function.... When Mike comes into the room to see her, he doesn't need to ask. The answer is written all over her face.